Let us speak in exotic gestures
Moving through the descent
Of a dream, this silent mind escapes
Through the recurrent dismal shadows
In the memory;
A cigarette in a dance, while you never speak
There is silence in a tribe
Scraping to kill each other slowly
Leaving, you’re leaving in the dark archipelago,
The ghost in the isthmus
Upon mercy covered in blood
Kicking like a wave to leave me alone
Whored out to our eyes, lost in the eerie lights and traffic,
Mind mantic, the silence, the silence.
Β© 2020 lucysworks.com All Rights Reserved.
A piece I originally wrote weeks ago, revised a couple times, categorized as a draft. It is not complete, so I might revisit it in the near or distant future again.
25 responses to “Let us (Draft).”
Your use of “the silence, the silence” reminds me of Kurt’s words in Conrad’s “Heart of Darkness”. Kevin
LikeLiked by 3 people
Kurt’s words being, “the horror, the horror”.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I hadn’t thought of that connection. Thank you! π
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love the descent of the poem as in a dream into a wicked surrealism. Look forward to what you work on!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you, friend. π So glad you enjoyed this piece!
LikeLiked by 1 person
π€ππ₯π€ππ€ you are most welcome
LikeLiked by 1 person
βlost in the eerie lights and traffic,β
Loved this part. I certainly can relate, when I had a two hour commute each way to work, the long drive home certainly would lonely and surreal.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Iβm so glad you could relate. Thank you for reading. π
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your welcome!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
WOW—WHAT WRANGLING OF WORDS!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you, friend. π
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is absolutely amazing! Your word choice is so vivid and vibrant; it perfectly illustrates a picture in my mind. You truly have a way with weaving words.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so, so much. That means a lot! π β€
LikeLiked by 1 person
Of course, you’re so welcome! Your poem was a joy to read! β¨π
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haunting and beautiful
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. π
LikeLike
You so well played with words here. Truly a pleasure to read your work β€οΈ
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much, friend. π
LikeLiked by 1 person
My absolute pleasure
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on Four-Calendar CafΓ© and commented:
This is a great piece! Artful, elegant in vision with one-two punch imagery that begs to be read over and over again. Well done, Lucy!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much, friend. π Iβm so happy you enjoyed this piece.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ok, so unsolicited advice… it seems backwards to me… read it last line to first…before you revise π
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, wow! I honestly hadnβt realized that before. Thank you so much, friend. I greatly appreciate and welcome the advice. π
LikeLike
‘There is silence in a tribe, scraping to kill each other slowly’
Lovely writing, Lucy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! π
LikeLiked by 1 person