eyelids.

eyelids
and a lie i stare
the way footsteps
slip

in winters etcetera
of the garden; the most frail
are knifed apples of eve

in my hands roots
faces I hid because I’m a memorial now
not the child
with arias in my bones

© 2021 lucysworks.com All Rights Reserved. 

Written for the dVerse prompt: Use the word way in a quadrille.


54 responses to “eyelids.”

  1. I enjoyed the seemingly disjointed stream of consciousness of your quadrille, Lucy, which has stunning imagery in ‘the way footsteps slip in winters etcetera’, the ‘knifed apples of eve’ and the arias in bones. The speaker in this poem could still be saved.

    Liked by 3 people

    • They very well can. As dark as my poems are with the topics they delve into, that is one aspect that is always there: Hope.

      Thank you for your feedback, Kim. It is always appreciated. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I was so into this that I didn’t even notice the word “way” anywhere until I went back. As others have said, “not the child with arias in my bones” is so very telling and hits to the bottom of the soul. Just an amazing write, Lucy!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I feel the reflection, perhaps regret within this piece. So interesting to explore each line further with interpretation. Wonderful word choices with “etcetera” and “arias”.

    Liked by 3 people

    • It’s definitely a reflection of memories with how I interpreted it when writing (and I always like to say that to me, the best interpretation is the reader’s). Thank you so much. ❤ ❤

      Like

    • Oh wow, I am so happy to hear that. Just 44 words and it’s rough to create a landscape, you know? I always try and I am happy you think I can create such a world. You do as well with masterful imagery and color; the detail is impeccable from your color-wheel of words in their world. ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Alive or dead, metaphor or reality, your narrator could be both or neither. I liked “faces I hid because I’m a memorial now” and “eyelids and a lie”.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Eh, I’m betting money the narrator is emotionally alive but feels dead if that makes sense. I wanted to gather topics of regret, memories, and sadness; and I loved how you picked up on the emotional connections I intended. Thank you so much, as always, for the lovely feedback.

      Like

  5. Yes, ‘in winter’s etcetera / of the garden’ is a wonderful line – both discarding the description (we’ve all seen such snow-bound gardens) and the ridiculous involuntary shiver of the cold. Another engaging read – thank you.

    Liked by 3 people

    • I will take that as a compliment. 😀

      I merely joke, Beverly. I’m happy to hear that and I thank you for such words. It pushes me to go further beyond my writing capabilities in some ways. I thank you for that.

      Like

  6. So evocative with layers of meaning, Lucy. It invites the reader’s empathy in a remarkable way. Funny, but “eyelids” are the first thing you look for in a marbled statue or over a sarcophagus.

    Liked by 2 people

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