I die shambolic.

Posted on by Lucy 
Each murderous thorn, it will vanish
like the women and thunderbirds
born again, the rampike is covered 
in frost
shambolic, for shame you had none;

like the women and thunderbirds
death again, oh god am I distant?
And homesick, last summer’s eve, you’re a bastard

born again, the rampike is covered 
in frost
chilled by father’s eye,
 I’m handed enigmatical roses; I die

shambolic, for shame you had none;
lady, daughter, stone
I feel none.

© 2021 lucysworks.com All Rights Reserved.

Written for the 6/17/2021 dVerse MTB prompt: Write trimeric following the pattern invented by Charles A. Stone.

Published by Lucy

"Poetess of darkness"–dVerse community; cat hoarder, guitarist, keyboardist, psych major.

59 thoughts on “I die shambolic.”

  3. Daughter and princess of darkness, your poetics swirl in macabre corridors, and all the egress have broken locks. You still manage to morph your style on a trimeric, unafraid of parameters, oblivious to convention. I take a knee to your creativity; atta’ girl.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Whoever this person is has left the MC severed from all that is alive 😦 Even though the pike is frozen, the monster long gone, still it pierces the soul. There has to be a way to break the enchantment!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That would be pretty accurate to what I had in mind for this poem. There are ways to break through it, but the real question is if the narrator really wants to?

      Thank you so much for your thoughts and feedback. ❤️

      Liked by 3 people

  8. ‘shambolic, for shame you had none’: the repetition calls out the shamelessness of the offender here. A strong voice comes through the dark torment. Thank you for teaching me a new word in ‘rampike’ also 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  13. So that’s what happened to Sweeney Todd…just kidding! (But kind of not, actually?!) Love this poem, especially the line: “And homesick, last summer’s eve, you’re a bastard.” 😀 I don’t know why that made me cackle but it did. I love the comparison here too: “Like the women and thunderbirds, death again” – what on earth’s going on? I’m not sure but it’s so lavish ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aww, thank you for the lovely feedback. The first stanza is where I don’t know what’s going on either as that was from a draft I pulled out from long ago; the other stanzas being written for the prompt. I forgot what I had in mind with that, but following with the three stanzas, it’s about being disoriented from being secluded and within yourself a lot around others. It can just make you want to break out of your skin to be yourself, and you can’t.

      Thank you again for your kind words and feedback. It warms my black heart. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ha ha! Mine too. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I love the mystery of it, it reveals just enough and yet keeps you guessing. In the early days, I used to find it frustrating when poetry was too mysterious but now I prefer it being a puzzle and just let it wash over me and see what sensory impression I’m left with. Although I love candid poetry just as much. Anyway, my black heart always enjoy your imagery! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  19. Another tour de force. I especially like your word choice– enigmatical, shambolic, thunderbirds, rampike. They force the reader into a different reality.

    Liked by 2 people

  23. Wow. So dark and atmospheric. I love this – it read almost like a stream of consciousness to me, but I’m sure there’s lots of deeper meaning here. A poem to be read over and over – I think I’ll find something new in it each time.

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

Gravatar
WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Cancel

Connecting to %s