TW/CW: Thoughts of suicide.
resuscitate loneliness, she
stares at [the] revolver, blankly;
swirled in roots, father, absently
in memory, in memory.
Maddening, trampled by ancient blood;
family tree into a flood
when sought for nothing from above
I had their love, I had their love.
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Written for the 7/29/2021 dVerse MTB prompt: To write a poem in monotetra form. You choose your theme, following the stanza structure as described.
I just want to say honestly that this is not a personal story above (it’s not from my life, it’s something I created in my head), but I have struggled with similar thoughts in the past. I was particularly inspired by Erbiage’s Moses poem. Whatever I said of one of my previous poems being the darkest I ever wrote, I think this one takes the cake as it’s one of the first times I reference directly to suicide.
I like to think the ending is happy here as the narrator realizes that they are loved. But, in other cases, sometimes love is not enough to keep going.
If you struggle with suicidal thoughts and feel close to the edge, please reach out. There are people who want you to be around, there are resources to help you.
Here are some links/resources:
800-273-8255 (Suicide hotline number)
Crisis Text Line (741-741)
Teen Line For any of my younger readers between 13 to 18. Teen Line is where you can speak or text with a fellow teenager. The idea here is that teenagers better resonate with other teenagers and open up. They also have some good resources for mental health and the appropriate lines to call or contact. Teen Line runs on Pacific Time, text lines and call lines open at 6pm PST and close at 9 and 10pm PST respectively.
The Trevor Project helps with LGBTQ youth under 25 years of age that may be struggling with their sexuality or identity.