Leave me alone (Draft).

Empty abandonment 
drawn to where it rains
I shun the cull of your words
I stand at refraction/rejection,

in memory, maybe I was 
on the drowning grave of anger,
maybe I was only an asshole.
Eyes like the Cheshire Cat;

this was an accident I’ve known too well.
I’m peeling off my skin
leave nothing
atonement is
a blank slate
I was dripped
from the thorax and the Adam’s apple
of the tree

the illusion of a girl—“you have to climb the ladder.”
now leave me alone

slow death
a cable
on the floor
sits beneath
my feet; boredom forms
in each breath

not mine, I was born 
into my garden ghosts
into the death of my bone
the amphitheater; dad was wrong 
I’ll always be this way

turn away
cull the thoughts
wanting to go home.

© 2021 Pseudopsychosis All Rights Reserved.

Written to this quote by Bo Burnham: “Interesting, now leave me alone.” This is part of a writing prompt called #InsideWithAlyAndBri which utilizes inspiration of Burnham’s “Inside.”

I don’t talk about it much, but a few of you may know that I have social anxiety. I used to play in band groups and the experience was interesting, if not pure hell. One girl told me I have to climb up the social ladder. I looked at her and said I wasn’t interested in that. 😂

I also turned part of it into a quadrille for a dVerse prompt too as I was unhappy with what I wrote. I’ll play with it some more eventually.

20 thoughts on “Leave me alone (Draft).”

  1. Awesome! Bo Burnham is great. I didn’t watch Inside, but I listened to the soundtrack, and it’s hilarious! And yeah, I feel the same way. I’ve sort of enjoyed the pandemic because it’s made my status as a loner more normal 🙃

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have yet to listen to the soundtrack, hahaha, but I plan to do so. The quotes alone are so strong and funny even if I do not know the context yet. Thank you for your kind and supportive words—I’ve been enjoying that part of the pandemic too. Everyone can be loners now. I think it’s also showing how easy it is to be alone, lonely, or even have anxiety disorders when being isolated (not saying that if you’re a loner, you’d have these but my SA comes from being out of the social scene for years).

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ah, you are too sweet! ❤ I honestly don’t know how I do it, but I do take note of interesting words when I read other poems; this helps me get inspiration and to gear myself up in the right headspace, along with music as well.

        I still don’t know where I’m going with my writing style, but won’t it be fun to find out. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I really loved the “refraction/rejection” line. Your pieces draw a lot of emotion and interest. It’s always a pleasure to go through your work and to learn from it. Loved this ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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