Lamplight falls.

Where my roots are, blood and home,
a black cat sniffs my arms; for some fool, how puzzling,
dreaming someone else’s dreams, I left to pursue my education;
I come home, not ashamed to shower at midnight,
my eyes closed, the market economy is boring me to tears,
to death—please kill me
please kill me—please kill me, cat. Disencumber the dead roses,
and I held a prayer. My ghost-skin in the mirror lurches
through a mask and summer clothes;
onto the limb of a nightmare
I become existential and depressed; everything is nothing.

After I was born, my dad called me “Lucifer.”
I’d like to think it was my namesake,
my mother hated it and would not have given me my name
if he had the wit earlier. Pity—because I embraced it,
because it was mine. I often think about it now
where, laughing, I was not afraid,
I was afraid of everything else. I had the same hope Sylvia Plath
did, at one point, in her journal—she didn’t want to die.

I never did want to die,
I just want to get rid of my identity
carry my bones into incomplete sheets,
as I writhe in body-ache. I try to sleep,
my cat cries for me to open the door,
let him in,
and lie down by me; where there’s silence,
perhaps a red vase by the window,
perhaps a quick steal of a girl’s nickel
by the subway, my cat sleeps with me.

© 2021 Pseudopsychosis All Rights Reserved.

Written for the dVerse 8/24/2021 prompt.

55 thoughts on “Lamplight falls.”

  1. This poem is stunning, Lucy. Some gorgeous turns of phrase – I can’t even pick them out as I love the whole thing, really. And amidst all the body ache of being, I love the comfort of your cat throughout as your familiar. The comfort of showering at midnight, all the soothing little moments of self-care scattered throughout the poem ❤️

    Though, forgive me, I couldn’t work out the acrostic message in it. Maybe it’s coded too well for me to decipher. It doesn’t matter because I LOVE it ❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww, thank you so so much. Your words really mean a lot to me. ❤ As for an acrostic message, there is none. The prompt had two choices, and one of those choices was to write about a puzzle I’ve been faced with. I used the more figurative definition than the literal. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Another masterful poem, Lucy, but no acrostics in sight. No matter, perhaps you are too clever for me, and the acrostic message is coded, or buried deep in prose and darkness. I think you are outside the box with this one, but you still stun and amaze with your poetics; smile.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so very much, Glenn! As per the prompt, it gave two options–one of which is about facing a puzzle. I went that route, explaining a puzzle in my head using memories. 🙂

      Like

  3. Pity—because I embraced it,
    because it was mine. I often think about it now
    where, laughing, I was not afraid,
    I was afraid of everything else

    Love the exhaustive write, Lucy! Very engaging! Of course, accepting and adopting our name is the best thing that can happen. It is the best-sounding word one is blessed with!

    Hank

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I have been having struggles with memory and anger lately Lucy. This was so deep with imagery that I fractured in the reading, and could only pick up this piece in pieces — each brilliant, but they became a splendid puzzle that I could not reassemble. So I just ran them through my fingers, and stared in awe — mad at the world… but marveling.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Love the powerful images – ‘My ghost-skin in the mirror lurches
    through a mask and summer clothes;
    onto the limb of a nightmare…’ What a fantastic read!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. “My ghost-skin in the mirror lurches through a mask and summer clothes,”.. deliciously woven! This poem is a masterpiece!! 💝💝💝💝 Just wowwww!!!

    Like

  7. I definitely got that you were working out a puzzle in your head rather than doing the acrostic and that is right on point with the prompt! Your writing always takes me on a journey, Lucy. I was especially interested in the connection with Lucy and Lucifer. A very interesting reference to Sylvia Plath.

    Liked by 2 people

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