the muse is dead.

Organdy threads in each piece
of the cement box; there is no harm in imagining
your own absence, but each sentence exploits
neuro-psychosis in each poem; add an additive 
and take it,
it was once my pleasure and joy
now it maddens me—I have not written like this in weeks
and I seize every time I get closer to myself
as if I held her hand, full of regret. A weeping willow rejects me
breathing in my cigarettes,
death’s in the traveler
being left alone in Italy; from the garden, 
all bodied, all that red and bleak,

I cut myself with Occam’s razor; I stood in the corner
ancient madness on psychological flyers at four in the afternoon
discuss naturalistic fields; if I were to indulge,
I glory in itself the voice of humanity nearest to me
fragility in solitude, an explanation swims back 
every time. I can feel the institution, imagine it,
letting myself touch faces when I don’t want to.

Empty words drown in my head,
sometimes, makes me wish I were dead beyond that idyll
to remember it, while I struggle though madness
is great inspiration, though muse—she is bored,
she adorns whiplash and sweat
of course I don’t want to write anymore right now,
she makes me feel like shit. 

© 2021 lucysworks.com All Rights Reserved.

Written for the 09/07/2021 dVerse prompt: Dungeons and Derivatives.

68 Comments

  1. This is deliciously dark and brooding, Lucy! Wowww! I am especially moved by; “if I were to indulge, I glory in itself the voice of humanity nearest to me fragility in solitude, an explanation swims back every time.” Thank you so much for writing to the prompt 💝💝

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lucy, you feel angry here. The very strong frustration is visceral. Hard to read, even harder not to. And my friend, I know well the feeling of being grunted through life’s ass. When life is doing that, I just get real big and solid — and make it hurt like hell. Life may push me, but I push back! Strong write here.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was pretty angry when writing this poem. Burnt-out, exhausted. That type of mad, and I think that’s the last of my fire for now. I just don’t have it in me atm to keep writing poetry.

      Thank you, Rob, for the thoughts and feedback. I love your outlook on life and I feel similarly. Just some things can’t be pushed back when you’re utterly exhausted and defeated, so I will have time wait this out but until then… adieu on the poetry scene for now. ❤

      Like

  3. This was really dark and intense! I can literally sense the frustration ready to burst out, this so much resonates with me. The writing made me feel so so much, had me cornered. Loved this, Lucy! You take care and remember to always push back. More power to you ❤❤

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This was so dark, brooding and intense! I loved the writing style in this poem a lot: it conveyed what you’re feeling really very well and how it also depicted the muse as a tantalizing and a ghastly essence.

    Hope you’re feeling okay right now! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  5. it was once my pleasure and joy
    now it maddens me—I have not written like this in weeks
    and I seize every time I get closer to myself

    Sometimes things move the opposite way. It gets one disoriented for some moments. It is good to reflect and and to be firmly in control. Great lines Lucy!

    Hank

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I like the imagery in this, Lucy! It feels very dream-like and surreal, but also evoked colour when I read it. And that last line is such a turn from the rest of the poem – so memorable!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Last line is my favorite … “though madness is great inspiration, though muse—she is bored, she adorns whiplash and sweat of course I don’t want to write anymore right now, she makes me feel like shit.”

    You took me on a deep dark stream of consciousness / unconsciousness journey …. great write.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Muse puts up a DNR note and they’re still trying to resuscitate her. It’s a losing game, sometimes. Thank you so much for the thoughts and feedback, always appreciated. ❤

      Like

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