Did you know after a severe trauma
a small majority will dissociate
they forget who they are, they will be adrift
from their belongings; only remember as little
as their procedural memory. You know how you ride your bike
like you did when you were a kid,
and now you don’t even think about it? Yeah.
It’s kinda like that.
sometimes, I wish I were like that. don’t you.
how do you break off from yourself
do you ever think about it?
when you fail to incorporate
the incongruence in your personality,
you split into alters. [DID] It generally occurs after
severe trauma in childhood, but even then, not much else is known
[about the causes].
Many confuse it for schizophrenia because the name [schizophrenia]
means split-mind; schizophrenics; that’s
talking about their thinking
insults to the brain in the womb
is one effort to explain why people develop it [schizophrenia]
there are others too
I don’t think I remember it that well,
but I’ll try; they generally have larger subcortical brain structures
But does it cause schizophrenia
Or is it a consequence?
Such how it goes in this way
Of correlation and causation.
Hospitalized schizophrenics returning home
have better chance not relapsing when their family is low-emotional
than high emotional.
Then there’s drugs
Y’know the ones.
Marijuana for one—never got the hype over why
it should be illegal, some argue it can cause disorders
It can help the onset, but the pre-disposition was already there
stress is like that too.
Before an onset of a disorder
There’s more stress in an individual.
Sometimes, I wonder if getting diagnosed is a relief
or if it is a burden. I live with my own disorders,
and I wonder.
What’s always emphasized in psychology
Is how our view of the world is subjective.
When you fail to remember something
It’s due to a few things, two being
Retrieval failure and encoding failure—encoding failure
Being simply you can’t remember what you never properly learned.
There are thoughts about long-term memory
Being nearly “infinite”, a barrel of marbles,
You reach in and pick the one
And there’s your memory. It doesn’t have to be anything,
I remember looking down at the bridge and wanting to jump
But that didn’t mean anything. It’s only ‘cause heights make me curious.
[denial, coping, intrusive; all make me obsess]
But yeah, about LTM, another view
Is how it’s a leaky barrel. Some LTM memories slip from time to time,
You may not remember it now or ever,
Does it reassure you if you forget?
Sometimes, I wish I could forget lots of things.
Depressed individuals have reduced hippocampal volume
From a failure to form new neurons in neurogenesis.
Is that why I don’t remember as much? Makes me wonder.
I know some people think it’s all bullshit [psychology]
But what I think is bullshit is saying that,
You break off from what you know,
And you can’t be on the defensive,
That’s important ‘cause stronger attitudes
Are more resistant to change.
Depends how you perceive information
And how you take it in those routes.
Which route should you take,
If I were were to split it in the sand?
Sometimes, I wish it were that easy.
sometimes, I wish it were like that—to choose so simply. don’t you.
If you could, would you break off from yourself
do you ever think about it?
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