OR alternatively: Does it still count if I cheat with the Haibun form? (Asking for a friend).
I’m not intoxicated, I’m nursing her desecration; I trap the rain outside my hands,
gently crying into the matrix-hum of flowers [flowing in my head]
I can’t think about it, with quiet, I trace my scar below white-sparrows;
moon erasure of the past to the lost haze of a goddess within an estuary
[my tears whittled], I shake my limbs to ease restlessness; dopamine is an old thief, asking who I am, petting, starving leaving no taste of celebration
when beckoned as lace of virus
limbo
watch me leave in trials
mouth-pressed
with broken sobs, incising morning air
and night’s aropax, I’m not intoxicated just sad and debilitated; you more so,
I know, variegated in singes; touches of her neck and wrist, contused
in no promises, only the sprawl of remembrance gets darker
with inviting-minds, a feed of otherness,
over mania-lived, relative
alone; just don’t leave me—don’t leave me in grief.
© 2022 Pseudopsychosis All Rights Reserved.
Written for the 01/03/2022 Haibun Monday at dVerse, pertaining to anything about celebrations and feelings of the holidays.
Sort of a sequel to my Letting Eve in poem.
Pseudopsychosis. 
I fitfully write this, incapable of expressing myself without jealous anger.
Well done, this macabre terror, this divine desecration of the haibun format elevated to your ephemeral dream-hymns. Even if you’ve twisted the concept, I’ll celebrate it as all good poets do – with wroth and artistic envy. Splendid, you, and a Happy New Year
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Oh, Masa! I find myself feeling flattered because I know what you mean by feeling that type of jealousy towards other poems; like a “dang, I wish I wrote that” type of feeling. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel that way toward some of your work I’ve read in the past. It’s fucking incredible the way you write and I envy it in fact. I do find comfort in how we all have our own style we can manipulate and change, and how people respond to it, it can bring us joy in knowing how we impacted them in some sort of way.
Thank you so much for your wonderful response. Happy New Year to you as well!
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Your haibun is in the rawness of the moment and fits the format as far as I can see, Lucy. Sounds like a complicated relationship between these two.
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Ooh, I love your observation. Not so much a complicated relationship between two people, but a complicated relationship between love, limbo, and the possibility of loss. Thank you so very much for your thoughts and feedback. ❤ Always appreciated.
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You’re very welcome, Lucy.
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I could never do the limbo,.. but life in limbo was constantly a low bar laying on my shoulders
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❤ ❤ Limbo is the worst thing to go through.
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Yes I know 😊🌏
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I am so thankful you adjusted your background! It’s much easier for me to read your brilliant work now. ❤
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Shawna, that makes me pleased to hear that. I’ve been messing around with the background/theme for a bit, and I think this is the final version I’m settling with so I’m very happy you like it and that’s it easier to read. ❤
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A beautifully written tragic poem! The grief-stricken lyricism of the long lines convey the mood of sadness perfectly!
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Thank you, Dominic! ❤
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Welcome Lucy!
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Well done Lucy!
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Thank you, Dwight!
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If this is breaking the rules of haibun then I’d say do it every time, Lucy! ❤️
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Okay, I’m going to quote you on that since if anyone asks why I’m breaking the sacred Haibun rules, it’s this, THIS reply right here that encouraged me. 😉
Thank you so much. ❤ ❤
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Perfect! You’re welcome 😊
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Lucy, your command of words simply floors me. You are consistently awesome.
❤
David
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Aww, thank you so much David! ❤
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“Don’t leave me in grief”, this line itself speaks volumes.
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Thank you. ❤
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That final line is a cry from the heart, Lucy. This has been a difficult year, and so many gone. I hope you are OK. ❤️
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Thanks, Merril. I’m doing as well as I can be. Life’s hard at the moment, but I’m hoping things will start to turn up soon. Too true; 2021 was not the greatest for many and I’m only hoping 2022 will be different. It’s almost a question of if things will ever change or even “When will we ever learn?” Who knows anymore?
I hope you’re doing well too. ❤
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It is difficult. I suppose we just have to do and live as we can. 💙
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The concept of limbo is so stark… being between, or in a void, I think Dante said that in limbo there is still hope… you might still move on, but just to linger there must be pure terror.. Writing from the perspective of Dante’s inferno would be interesting.
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Too true, being in this in-between is stressful and it wears you down. Lingering, never moving on, does sound horrifying, and speaking of Dante, if that’s not true hell, I don’t know what is. Thank you so much for your thoughts and feedback.
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“matrix-hum of flowers.”
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❤ I think of anything I’ve written, I like that line the most to be honest. 😀
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So original, so powerful, so intriguing…one feels you bleed your words….
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Lucy, the rawness of your words gets me each time. ❤️
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I do not know poems very well, but my kids and I are going to start learning this year. I love this I am sure there are so many people out there who can relate but have no idea how to articulate this. Thank you for sharing!
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